Life is neutral

Life just is. I cannot blame anything outside me for how I feel. Feelings arise because of how I perceive and interpret what happens around me. Any suffering is created by me. Any joy is also of me and can be experienced any time just by allowing other stuff to fall away. I can stand at the top of a cliff and be seen by the whole world. There is no need to hide or limit myself.

Labyrinth refined

The labyrinth paths have been widened and it feels better to walk around now. The corners are not quite so tight. It still needs a bit of work to get the strings curved equally in a couple of key areas. Than we will start on the bricks. The labyrinth is situated inbetween trees and fits well there.

Labyrinth

A labyrinth is going to be added to our garden. Currently it is laid out with bright blue string which has come off the big bales of pea straw that we get for the garden. At first I laid it out as a left-handed classical labyrinth. Then I changed it, mirror image to a right handed labyrinth - means when one enters then one goes to the right. It is modelled on the labyrinth at Mana Retreat Centre, Coromandel. So instead of straight lines crossing at the centre, it has a diamond shape and ours will have a small cog in the centre. The strings will be replaced by bricks set into the ground so that the area can be mowed. It will be beautiful.

Stillness

Yesterday evening at Satsang the stillness was very deep. Satsang is a sanskirt word - 'gathering in the company of truth'. When we come together with the intention of deepening in the truth of who we really are, the vibration of the group rises and we fall into deep silence together. This what happened last night. We meditated, we opened into truth inside us and the silence took us deeper. It was very peaceful and strong.

The Power of Intentions

Recently I have been allowing an intention to arise within me before I get out of bed in the morning. This is an intention for me for the day. The other day my intention was to notice the beauty around me and I sure did, starting with the morning sun backlighting the flowers of winter sweet in the vase on the dinning room table. Today, it was to listen to my body. So when walking up a steep hill I listened consciously and asked if my body wanted to rest, or go slower. I am amazed and full of wonder that I remember to allow an intention to arise, and that it becomes apparent often during the day, with no effort on my part.

Are You Emotionally Fit?

We are bombarded by articles and advertisements about the value of becoming physically fit. What about your emotional fitness? How would life be if you were really emotionally free. Take this questionnaire to determine your emotional health. Each question has 4 answers to choose from. Please total the numbers from all answers.

1.      Do you stop yourself from feeling emotions?

 Often(1), sometimes(2), rarely(3), never(4)

2.      How do you deal with anger? 

Explode(1), suppress(2), talk about(3), feel it(4)

3.      When someone else expresses anger do you –

feel scared(1), explode with anger yourself(2), speak up for yourself(3), let their anger stay with them(4).

4.      Do allow yourself to cry?    

Never(1), rarely(2), sometimes(3), usually(4)

5.      Do anxious feelings stop you from trying something new? 

 Often(1), sometimes(2), rarely(3), never(4)

6.      When someone close to you died, how did you react? 

Not grieve(1), grieve a little(2), tell yourself to stop grieving(3), let yourself feel it(4)

7.      Do you laugh, sing and dance with happiness?  

 Never(1), rarely(2), sometimes(3), often(4)

8.      When you are criticized do you –

feel neutral(4), stick up for yourself(3), criticize yourself(2), feel stupid(1)

9.       Do you find yourself wanting approval from others?  

Never(4), rarely(3), sometimes(2), often(1)

10.   Do you blame others for how you feel?

 Never(4), rarely(3), sometimes(2), often(1)

11.   Do you feel grateful?   

Often(4), sometimes(3), rarely(2), never(1)  

12.   How long does it take you to bounce back from feeling low? 

1hr(4), 1 day(3), 1 week(2),  longer(1)

Scoring:  42 - 48    You are emotionally healthy. An appointment with me could allow you to open further to the abundance of life.

35 – 41  Be aware of the areas in which you are not allowing yourself to open and feel emotions. I can facilitate this with you.

25 – 34  Make an appointment with me and get to the cause of being emotionally shut down.

Below 24  Definitely make an appointment soon to honour yourself and live life more freely.

Fear of being well.

Do you have some hidden little (or big) fears about  being well? What do you gain by being unwell? It may have been a long time since ill-health started and you do not remember what it feels like to be well. Are there some advantages in being unwell? Do you gain any of these: attention, being looked after, safety, not having to organize your life, having people around you most of the time, not having to make decisions? What would you have to face if you were really well? Would it be scary to think about looking after yourself? Would it be scary to have to make decisions without the limitations of being unwell? Would the freedom feel so unknown that it’s scary? Who would you be if you weren’t the label of your sickness? Honour yourself and be honest – face the emotions and shine in the truth that is revealed to you.  

Memories

Memories. Think of a time or happening that has affected you negatively. Remember it. Do you remember it accurately? Do you think that the other people in the memory remember it the same way? How can it be that people remember the same thing differently? We all perceive situations differently, depending on the emotional impact on us. It’s the emotional side of situations that we remember. It is not an objective memory. In fact, we interpret the situation and what people said and what they did – it’s not actually the complete picture of what happened. And then the altering of the memory carries on when we think about it frequently, or when we talk about it often. We change little bits and slant it in ways to support our case, or to make it easier to face it. Understand yourself and the processes involved. Show compassion to yourself and let yourself feel the emotions. Then you can leave the memory in the past.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness. What is it? How does it help? The concept of mindfulness or living consciously in the moment is that of awareness – being aware of what all parts of your body and your mind are doing in any given moment. It means being fully attentive to what you are doing and where you are. And then the body and mind are in sync. By directing your awareness to your body and what it is doing you reduce all the confusing mindtalk which is full of doubt and full of anxiety about the future. You focus on the present. This simplifies life and relaxes you. It allows you to give 100% to you as well as to what you are doing. You then live fully in the moment.

Anger

Anger. Do you let yourself feel it? What do you do with it? Put a lid on it and stuff it down? Let it pop out at ridiculous times? Let it explode? Scary! We don’t like anger. We don’t want to feel it, or show it, or be around it, or near anyone who is expressing it. We don’t understand it. It is so unpredictable. Other emotions are much easier to explain and understand. Most of us have plenty of anger in us. It is often stored in some deep place where we think we can control it. Then it seeps out as resentment, judgement, or critical comments. Or it suddenly explodes outwards at other people. Try being curious about anger and letting yourself feel it inside your body. Expressing it by words or explosion is not actually letting it go. It’s still there. However, if you take time for you, and let your body feel the anger inside, bringing your awareness to the pure feeling, it will empty out, and then the story about why you feel angry will disappear. Try it. It’s worth it.

Acceptance

If you had to totally accept the circumstances that you are in, what would you have to feel? If you could totally accept your health as it is, what fears would this bring up? If you couldn’t complain about your life, what would you have to feel? If you couldn’t complain what would you have to face or say or do? If you thought your financial situation would never improve what would you have to face? If you thought your relationship situation would never change what would you have to feel? If you had no hope of change what would you have to feel? Take some time for yourself and let yourself feel these feelings. It’s won’t be as drastic as you think. When the feelings have exhausted themselves, you will be surprised at the peace, clarity and strength that you experience. 

No way to get anything right!

If you were told that there was no way to get anything right, how would you feel?  Would you feel relieved? Or would you feel panic? How strongly do you like to be right? Do you correct other people’s words? Do you tell people how to get it right? Do you think it is right to be right? Do you become defensive when someone challenges you? Would you feel totally lost if you couldn’t be right at least some of the time? It’s all about controlling the world around you to make yourself feel safe. Being out of control can sometimes bring up scary emotions. And this is a gift, as you then have the opportunity to face the emotion and be free of it. Let yourself feel.

Judgement

How often do you judge yourself? How often do you criticize yourself? How often do you think “I should have done this or that”? If you inquire deeply, what do you think about this pattern of yours? Is there some notion that you ought to judge yourself, to justify not being good enough and needing to be better. If it were possible to set aside the judgements what would you have to feel? Maybe this is something you don’t want to face. However, maybe there would be benefit in facing the feelings such as worthlessness that could arise. By facing them, you can let them go and recognize the truth inside you – that you really are good enough, and you have the freedom to live fully.

Beliefs

What do you believe about yourself? Beliefs about ourselves govern what we do in our life. Do you believe that you are not confident? Then you will act as if you are not confident, and you won’t feel confident. Do you believe that you are old? Think what this word means to you. You will act like this, and your body and mind will become old. Do you believe that you aren’t good enough. Well, you will behave as if you aren’t good enough. Do you believe that others don’t listen to you? Believing this means that this is what will happen. Beliefs about ourselves are very powerful things that run our lives and limit our freedom. Often we don’t realize they are there because they are so deep.

Armor

How open are you? Do you let your real self out when having conversations? Or do you have a protective armor around you, stopping you from exposing too much of yourself in case you become vulnerable. How heavy is this armor? Is it so heavy that it takes an effort to have it in place? Is it weighing you down? What would you risk feeling if you let the armor down? Imagine the armor falling away and give yourself the gift of feeling what is really here and then letting it go. Sure, you might feel vulnerable. You will find truth, trust and joy with the vulnerability, as well as an inner strength. Be free of the heavy armor. 

Difficult things.

Sometimes we have to do really difficult things. Stuff that is going to affect other people or not be approved of. We don’t want to. We don’t like unpleasantness. The mind goes round and round. The thoughts go one way and then the other. There must be some way out of the situation without having to do the difficult bit. It’s hard to focus on what we know is the right thing to do. It feels so confusing. To achieve some peace and clarity let the mind thoughts come and go, without attaching too much to them, without thinking more about each one. Breathe deeply and let your awareness of life expand so that you have a fuller picture. Know the truth inside you and trust that.

Happy New Year

It’s a New Year. What will this one be like? It’s unknown, except that you have the power to be in charge of how you face it. You can choose to be a victim of whatever circumstances show up and blame these for how you feel and for not achieving your goals. Or you can choose to stand tall and follow your heart, regardless of the circumstances. You can choose to be the wonderful person that you really are and be the best that you can be. Take some time to be still and inside yourself. Focus on what is important to you in life. Then ask yourself – how can I increase these important things? How can I spend more time on these? Trust your inner wisdom – you will know what is really important for you.