Acceptance

If you were to accept everything in your life just as it is right now, how would that feel? I know you probably don’t want to. You probably want to change lots of things. Seems a very human thing to do. We want to improve ourselves. We want to improve our circumstances. We want to improve our relationships. We want more love, or more money, or more fun, or better health, or a better job, or a better house.

But if for a second, you were to imagine accepting everything just as it is, how would it feel? If you really cannot imagine this, then what is the block? Does it feel like you might be letting yourself down? Does it feel like the current circumstances might just be all there is for you? Do your thoughts then tell you that you are not worthy of anything better. Ah ha. Here is some stuff for you to look at, in you.

If just for a second you are able to imagine accepting everything just as it is, is there an opening and relaxing feeling? This is how it is for me. There is no way I can stay in it, because there is so much I wish to change in my life. And yet, I can feel the expansiveness that occurs when I accept totally. And in this expansiveness, I can sense that everything is possible. What a dilemma! On one hand there is acceptance and total expensiveness including that all is possible. On the other hand, there is no wish to accept because it might mean that this is all there is. What to do?

One suggestion is to imagine accepting and feel how it feels. Then to actually accept, just for a minute. But is it possible to come back from this? Because I don’t want to stay accepting. Or do I? Who knows!!  Of course, not being able to answer this is just like life. We really do not know anything. Everything we think we know may or may not be right. It’s likely that it isn’t right.

So maybe there is no choice anyway. Maybe we have to accept, so we may as well do it willingly. Instead of fighting it.

And just know that acceptance does not mean that things won’t change. It does not mean that we are stuck. It actually allows the universe in to expand our life. It allows possibilities to present themselves and us to actually see them. It’s our minds and thoughts that get in the way. It’s thinking we know that limits us.

The Christmas rush

At this time of the year, do you find yourself spiralling into panic? Do you feel overwhelmed by the things to do, by the music, by the….everything? And to be really honest, it’s not all about how much you have to do, is it? Even when plans are coming along perfectly and easily, it can feel like there is an increase in rush, and pressure. The traffic seems more, the shops are more crowded, people move faster, things get remembered and have to be acted on before the rush or before the holidays. There are parties to go to, more shopping to do, people to coordinate for getting together, events to organise, presents to buy, cards to send. Children get frazzled and tired. Adults get stressed and anxious. It can all add up to……..too much. And yet somehow, we continue to go along with it. It’s almost like a habit….. to feel rushed and stressed just because it’s Christmastime. Where did you learn this habit? There’s almost an expectation that you will feel this way, even though you say you don’t want to.

So can you get yourself out of this?  Somehow, even when we plan things in advance, something else crops up, and plans need changing. It can stir up feelings to have to change plans. Somehow trusting oneself can go out the window. Trusting that things will work out okay, can go out the window. Trusting others to do their part can go out the window too. Chaos can be felt. So time for a recharge of you. Breathe, slow down, stop for a moment and acknowledge your feelings. Funnily enough, often when we slow down, more gets done. Weird eh? Try it. Be present to each task. Do it mindfully. Leave the next task until you have finished this one.

And whatever feeling arises inside you, just know that you are allowed to feel it. You can respect yourself and acknowledge how you feel. You may want to do something from that feeling, such as speak to someone connected with the feeling. Or change your plans. Or you may be able to feel the feeling in your body and let it dissolve. You can feel it and carry on with whatever needs doing. You can act from the best part of you even if you are not feeling like the best you. You can feel overwhelmed and breathe into that feeling. You can feel chaos and breathe into the feeling. We can feel panic when we think we can’t cope with how we feel. If you take a couple of minutes to feel your feeling inside your body, before carrying on, it can make all the difference. Feelings react quite well when acknowledged. They often disappear.

Taking care of yourself.

There is a lot of talk these days about looking after oneself. And it’s not selfish to do so. Sometimes, the reason people tell you to look after yourself is because you are doing everything for other people and forgetting you. Or it could possibly be, that your behaviour is governed by a neediness in you to prove yourself to others, or to gain other’s approval. And in doing so, forgetting to take care of you. Or maybe it feels just too hard, because there is so much to do, and everyone needs you. Just stop and consider if you really value yourself. Do you really have to be everywhere at once, looking after everyone else?

Looking after oneself does not necessarily mean that you go off and book yourself a holiday, or a massage or a dance class. It may do, but not necessarily. There are many ways of looking after yourself and only you can know what this truly means. If you need touch and aren’t getting it, then a massage could well be the answer, or even regular massages. You may think that you need some excitement, and this may be great in the anticipation and even on the day. It can also be a distraction from the issue that is bothering you. We do tend to think that we will be happy when we get………., or if a certain thing happens. And it may do for a short time, and then the old issue will start rumbling away again, pushing you to gain another excitement or pushing you into depression.

5 simple ways to look after yourself:

1.       Give yourself some positive feedback. Think back over the day and consider what you did or what you said. Give yourself a mental pat on the back for those that you were pleased about. Let the rest go and know that you did your best.

2.       Take a few minutes at the beginning of the day, maybe even before getting out of bed to lightly run over the day. Then set an intention for you. It could be as simple as intending to take 5 deep breaths when you get in the car. It could be to be aware of how you feel and know that your feelings are valid. Or it could be to have that difficult conversation.

3.       Have some fresh air and exercise. Even a 5 minute walk can be refreshing.

4.       Take time to eat. Rather than stand and gobble down your breakfast as you look after everyone else, sit down and be mindful about eating. Give your body a chance to actually focus on what is happening inside without the rush.

5.       Develop awareness of this moment. Be honest with yourself to yourself about what is going on inside you.