Sunday, April 28, 2019
How strong are your restrictive thoughts about money?
Does it affect any thoughts you have about buying anything, about buying meals, about buying a coffee, about buying a book, or only about the big things – having enough to pay the rent or the rates or pay for car repairs. Do you stop yourself from buying small things for yourself because of this?
Can you cope with an irregular income or do you have a strong need to know what is coming in. Do you budget to the last few cents?
All of this is a human drive for survival – because money equals survival in our society these days. It’s to do with self-preservation – making sure you have enough for yourself. It’s a very basic drive, but people vary about how strong this drive is for them, and how anxious they become. Some people spend a lot of time thinking about money and worrying about it and complaining about it. There could be some panic lurking. Others are more trusting of money’s arrival.
For me, my self-preservation drive is being mightily challenged this year. And this is a good thing - a chance to face the fear, allow the fear, feel the fear. A life test. A opportunity for the fear to not limit my choices and not get in the way of decisions.
I am in the process of getting a house built on my piece of land and there have been many costs appearing that have nothing to do with the house and everything to do with council requirements. My internal process has been a roller coaster of fear leading towards acceptance of this moment – this moment being that of not knowing every cost. Having a general idea and knowing that extras seem to pop up from nowhere to challenge me. Having a council person tell me about costs that weren’t mentioned earlier. So that I face, again and again and again, the fear of not having enough. Doing the sums, knowing I don’t know all the costs, doing the sums again!!!
I was brought up in a frugal environment which created some reluctance to spend. Or, at least, created a voice on my shoulder, telling me I shouldn’t spend. And during my married life, not much spending happened and all monies were accounted for in detail. Since being on my own, I keep a more relaxed and general eye on money. And it feels good. Until the challenge of new house arrived to challenge me some more. Currently, it’s feeling ok. Not because I know all the costs, but because……well, just because….no logic.
What would it take for you to be more relaxed about money?
And the answer is not more money!! You would find that if you have some frugality or scarcity beliefs about money, that it actually wouldn’t matter how much you had - the same internal stuff would still be there.
So it might be time to inquire into this.