Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Is communication just the words?

Communication – is it really just the words? I know 2 young people who communicate very effectively without language. The eyes look directly at mine with a depth of meaning in them – how can so much meaning be expressed in eyes?? The body language says even more – movements of arms, position of their stance, tenseness. Touching me, pulling me somewhere, pulling away from me, coming into my arms. Except at times when the message does not get across accurately. Then the frustration and pain of not being understood is right out there. I feel their pain and rack my brains for what they might be meaning. They make a noise, but no words. Noises also convey meaning but not always enough. At this stage, the words are important. At this stage communication changes – feelings are openly expressed in body language and the eyes. Wants can be translated by showing, pointing, pulling. More complex communication needs words  - or signs, or pointing to pictures. Complicated!!

Think about eyes and what yours communicate. Do you hide your eyes? If you have thick rims on your glasses you are hiding! From what? Some years ago I decided to have the thinnest rims possible, and none on the bottom. I want to be open and honest and allow people to see my eyes. Contact lenses are probably even more open. Look at your eyes in the mirror and see YOU. Change how you feel and look at your eyes, change what you think and look into your eyes. Look at other people in the eye (without staring) and see what you see. Ask: does this match what the words say? Are the eyes honest? Are the words honest?

I have recently experienced the words not being honest and I knew this because the eyes did not match. I felt not valued and not trusted, and there was no real connection between the person and myself. You will have experienced the real connection that happens when there is a real honest conversation – it is a wonderful feeling – like the source of one person meets the source of another – as if love meets love. So Iets you and I remember these magical moments and create even more by being open, by speaking consciously in truth.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Reckless Abandon.

I love the phrase living life with reckless abandon. Can you do it? I mean - can you live with reckless abandon? This doesn't mean irresponsibly, this doesn't mean not being aware of others in your life. It means being expansive inside yourself and not letting ties tie you down to preconceived ideas, judgements and  negative beliefs about yourself. Personally, I have been living in the unknown for the last several months - and it feels like reckless abandon. It involves fun and laughter. It involves tears and sadness. It involves the richness of life being allowed. It involves fully experiencing whatever is here right now in this moment. It involves letting go and allowing whatever is happening to happen. It involves tipping judgements and ideas upside down and looking at them from a different angle. And if you think this is impossible, actually it is not. But for some of us, it needs a trigger - such as a life event, something scary, some major change which means we dive deeper into life and deeper into ourselves. So it has been for me. Stuff was building inside me. Finally the last straw happened, and I stepped away from the life I knew, including my husband. I lived on my own for a few months,  and then took another step - left my job of 25 years, moved to a different part of the country with a new partner, started a new job. For some people, a major life event may drive them into a closed shut down place. If this is you, show compassion for yourself. You are doing this because you want to keep yourself safe. It is scary to jump or step into something that is different. It is frightening when your circumstances change. Every minute of every day requires vigilance and re-evaluation. It is tiring. Even a tiny step can seem huge. Just know that you will reach that place where you will just do it and it will be perfectly right and natural. Live life with reckless abandon.