Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Is communication just the words?
Communication – is it really just the words? I know 2 young people who communicate very effectively without language. The eyes look directly at mine with a depth of meaning in them – how can so much meaning be expressed in eyes?? The body language says even more – movements of arms, position of their stance, tenseness. Touching me, pulling me somewhere, pulling away from me, coming into my arms. Except at times when the message does not get across accurately. Then the frustration and pain of not being understood is right out there. I feel their pain and rack my brains for what they might be meaning. They make a noise, but no words. Noises also convey meaning but not always enough. At this stage, the words are important. At this stage communication changes – feelings are openly expressed in body language and the eyes. Wants can be translated by showing, pointing, pulling. More complex communication needs words - or signs, or pointing to pictures. Complicated!!
Think about eyes and what yours communicate. Do you hide your eyes? If you have thick rims on your glasses you are hiding! From what? Some years ago I decided to have the thinnest rims possible, and none on the bottom. I want to be open and honest and allow people to see my eyes. Contact lenses are probably even more open. Look at your eyes in the mirror and see YOU. Change how you feel and look at your eyes, change what you think and look into your eyes. Look at other people in the eye (without staring) and see what you see. Ask: does this match what the words say? Are the eyes honest? Are the words honest?
I have recently experienced the words not being honest and I knew this because the eyes did not match. I felt not valued and not trusted, and there was no real connection between the person and myself. You will have experienced the real connection that happens when there is a real honest conversation – it is a wonderful feeling – like the source of one person meets the source of another – as if love meets love. So Iets you and I remember these magical moments and create even more by being open, by speaking consciously in truth.