Saturday, July 18, 2015

Avoiding Emotions Sequel.

I suspect that the list of strategies for avoiding emotions is endless, so thought a sequel was needed. How come we are so good at the strategies? Are emotions really that awful?

Some people talk about it so much that it drives the emotion away.

Some people have lots of tears and wipe the emotion away with tissues.

Some people cry and then other people wipe away the emotion with comfort and pats.

Some people yell at the dog or the kids.

Some people walk away.

Some people read novels and get involved in someone else's story.

Some people produce a cover, such as hope or calmness. Hope is usually thought of a virtuous thing. But isn't it obvious that if you have a hope about the future, then you aren't focusing in the present? Hope is about wanting something to be better. So what's happening right now that you want to avoid? Do something in this moment ......feel.....speak up......stop and be still........
And calmness can be a conscious effort to not feel.

ME?? I guess I use or have used most of these strategies.

I have had a couple of periods of a few years in my life when I read lots of light novels. Enjoyable stories. Used up the time in a pleasant way and I avoided emotions.

A cover of calmness has certainly been a prominent strategy - smile and people will think I am okay. These days any calmness I have is a more genuine calmness, a deeper calmness.

Keep busy - yep, a common strategy of mine.

Hoping or wishing life was different - this too.

Actually, I think that I have been an expert at avoiding emotions.

Want to challenge my expert status?? How many strategies have you used?

And these days, my strategies just don't work as effectively. So guess what - I get to feel emotions. Some pleasant and some painful. Some wonderful. Some uncomfortable. I get to embrace them and allow them to dissolve.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Avoiding Emotions

What is your favourite strategy for avoiding emotions? Do you have a strategy? Of course you do. We all do.
Some people walk away.
Some people get physically active.
Some people tell others complaining stories.
Some people blame.
Some people go quiet.
Some people pretend to have no emotions.
What do you do?
Are you aware of what you do? Really?
Maybe you are a person who yells, screams, kicks, slam doors, runs. Then do you feel that you have felt the emotions? And then it's scary to feel emotions because you might do it again and be out of control. In our society it is judged as not good if we project emotions in this way. The dilemma is that we don't know that that behaviour is actually a strategy for avoiding emotions. We are not taught to just feel emotions. We believe that projecting and acting out is feeling. And following on from this, the belief is created that emotions are not good and need to be avoided,
We can choose not to indulge in these strategies - just stop - be aware of the feeling in the body - no story of blame or why the feeling is there -just the raw emotion. This is feeling emotion. And it is very freeing, because it then dissolves. And the story loses it's significance. Wahoo!

And can I do this?? Can you?

Since the major changes in my life I have felt more emotions than ever before. I have even been emotional!! Instead of living life along a calm middle line, I have experienced all sorts of emotions. I suspect (but don't know) that because I have piles of emotions that have been suppressed over many years they are being let out to be felt, triggered by simple little things. Impatience when the hose fitting doesn't work, frustration with the computer, anger when I can't find something, etc.
Or are these just safe situations to feel emotions?? Oh dear - the  mind can rationalize and analyse for ever.
Anyway to answer the question. Yes, I can stop and feel the raw emotion  - sometimes. Other times, the feeling hangs around for a while. maybe until something distracts me from it - oh, well - it will resurface another time. The gift of life will provide an opportunity for emotions to be felt, allowed and released.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015


Is manifesting something you want, as simple as wanting it? Is it about the detail of the wanting? Visualising? Feeling it? Experiencing it in an all round way? Trusting it will happen? Knowing it will happen? Making up a ritual about it? How does one do it?

I am living in a lovely house - We moved here 7 months ago. And there are features of this house that I have wanted for a very long time.

Since I was a young child I have wanted to live in a 2 storey house. This house has 2 bedrooms, a bathroom/toilet and a Journey room upstairs. How did that happen? What was the nature of the wanting that made it happen? Or was it just a fluke?

For a very long time I have wanted a house with a proper entrance way. You know, like a foyer, where people come in, and it welcomes them, before they move into a passage or a room. This house has a lovely entrance room. Come in, and then move upstairs, or into the lounge, or through a passage to other parts of the house. How did it happen that I now have this?

Another feature that I have wanted for a long time, is to have interesting shaped rooms rather than just square or oblong. This lounge, for example, has different levels of ceiling, and different shapes to the walls, even a built in dresser in a triangle part. I am typing this at our office desk which is part of the  lounge but in a corner off from it. How did I manage to get to live in such a house?

When I think about how I have wanted these features, I am unclear about how the wanting was. It just appears to have been a feeling of deliciousness when sensing those features. I don't remember actually thinking or trusting or knowing that I would get these things. Even when we first looked at this house, I didn't immediately think that I would be getting what I wanted.  

So did I want without wanting? Work that one out. Somehow it seems that I did.

Did I appreciate what I had before? Yes, I did. I enjoyed all the  houses I have lived in. I was grateful for the features that they had.

Did I yearn for the features that this place has? No, I didn't. They were just there, somehow.

So how have you manifested? How was it for you?