Wednesday, June 14, 2017
What do you put up with and how does it affect you?
Do you ever feel like you are putting up with stuff? Putting up with pain? Putting up with being uncomfortable? Putting up with put-downs? Putting up with being criticised? Putting up with people’s anger? Putting up with being told what to do? Putting up with people being negative? Putting up with your living arrangements? Putting up with people not caring?
Why do you put up with these things?
There are probably many reasons. Underlying these reasons that your mind tells you, will be some issues inside you. Could be a lack of confidence to speak up. You might be too scared to speak up. Might be a lack of courage. Could even be a feeling that you deserve this treatment. Might be that you don’t feel strong enough in yourself. Maybe you don’t have love for yourself, or even respect. Or value yourself enough. And your need to avoid conflict could be strong. As well, you may fear the consequences of speaking up. Could simply be an old habit that just carries on because it’s comfortable and familiar. Could even be connected to a sense of commitment.
What is the cost of this putting up with stuff? The cost to you as a person? Does it matter? Do you value yourself enough to realise that putting up with anything is not doing you a service. The cost is that you are not free to express who you really are. The cost is that you are not living your life in your purpose. The cost is that inside you are building up resentment. It may be bubbling away at a very low level. The effect of this resentment is that the anger underneath may explode at an unexpected moment. The possible cost to you is your health. All that pushed down emotion can affect your physical health.
What to do? Spend some time contemplating the questions mentioned. If they apply to you, then do some searching inside you. What do you really believe about yourself? Be honest. And how does this affect your behaviour and your ability to speak up clearly and calmly for yourself. What would you like to change about yourself? Maybe you could do with some help to change yourself.
Personally, I was in a place of putting up with most of the things mentioned. For many, many years. I lacked courage, I lacked self-esteem, I lacked the belief that I would be heard. I did not value myself. I did not feel good enough. The physical health issues were a gift because they meant that I then looked for help. And found more than the help for the physical issues.
When we feel strong inside ourselves, when we feel of value, when we feel we are worthy, then we can make changes to how we talk, to how we perceive situations, to what we will put up with. We can be happy and enjoy life.