Directing your life.

There is agony in trying to direct one’s life. We think we want to.  We have a plan. We may know what we want to do. We may have expectations about the future. And we know that these expectations are right for us. We may have a purpose. We may have read about how “thoughts become things”.  So let’s think those things into reality. The agony arrives when it doesn’t work out. Recently I experienced this agony. And it was real emotional agony. I was feeling so restricted by money and by circumstances. I had been so sure that I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I had been so sure that things were going to flow in the way that I wanted them to flow.

Wanting something actually creates a barrier to getting it. How can that be? Because in feeling the wanting, we learn how wanting feels and experiencing it more, just means it get more and more familiar, so it stays right there inside. We stay wanting. It’s like the wanting creates a block. 

So some people create vision boards, some people list the detail of what they want (e.g. the qualities of a partner they would like or a house they would like), some people write gratitude lists, and some people use other strategies of manifestation to get what they want. Does trying to get what we want mean that we are in charge of our life and directing our life?

Be clear on your values. Because these will allow your life to flow. I don’t mean the usual old-school values like honesty (and there are different levels to this!), respect, trying your best, goodness, working hard, pleasing people.

There are even deeper values that you can decide on. Values that can govern your every word, every action and every thought. For me these are inner truth, recognising the goodness in everyone, love, living in each moment. The inner truth is a deep knowing of rightness which is different to the mind saying what is right. Recognising the goodness in people is a real knowing that people behave the way they do because of the conditioning from their youth and their emotions……..there behaviour is not who they really are. Love is more than loving other people and more than loving oneself. It is being love. Living in the moment means the acceptance of emotions that arise (feeling them, not acting on them) and the ability to look at each moment freshly rather than from the ideas of the past.

So I experienced the agony of the emotions that arose when my thoughts went round and round about limitations. I allowed myself to feel the agony and the emotions that were under it. Tears came aplenty. And that was what was there is those moments. Until they weren’t there. Until acceptance and love filled that space.