Words

I have a thing about words. I really would like people around me to use the words that express what they really mean. Such a high expectation!!

Words are funny things. The exact same word can mean different things to different people. Especially when people have different backgrounds, conditioning and up bringing. And that's without even considering the tone of the voice and the body language, both of which are a high percentage of the communication. And also included is that whole level of communication involved in connection - unspoken and unseen.

It all feels complicated to me. I spend way too much time trying to figure out what is going on for others and for me. Much easier to just leave it. Well, it's hard to keep track of the conversation and gain clarity.

And then the words that come out of my mouth - are they the truth? What meaning does someone else take from them? How do I explain myself? Are the words spoken in that moment the truth for always then? Must they be forever. Can I accept that I might express something now and then express it differently another time? And if I do, what does that mean about me? That I don't know what I think and believe? Will they take another meaning than I intended? Will I be judged?

Many questions. Too much thinking!

So if I can be non-attached - that is, observing myself in these types of situations - I see that I have some emotions connected with these situations. And judgements of myself and others. The task is to allow myself time to really feel and let go.

And even now, am I making sense to anyone??????????????? Or even to me??

Maybe this is why I can work with non-verbal children. Maybe this is why I enjoy working in the garden.
And such joy yesterday, playing with my young grandson - being totally present in the moment. Shared joy when shaking leaves, poking a finger into a hole in tree bark, poking a droplet of gum, lying on the grass, listening to birds, pointing to planes in the sky. No expectations, no judging, no reasoning  -  just joy and love.

P.S. And to be honest, I would like people to agree with me. Differences of opinions bring up feelings of .............. And this is a topic for another blog.