Thursday, April 12, 2018

Do you aim to fix people?

How good are you at fixing other people? How good are you at fixing yourself?

How much of your talking or communicating time do you devote to this? Just take an observation of yourself and be honest. When someone tells you about their relationship problem, or about their family issue, or about their health, or about their fitness, do you immediately give ideas for what they can do? Do you make one particular suggestion – the one you consider the right one? Do you follow up with the reasons or with emotive words to encourage the person to do that particular idea?

Is it a human thing? To tell people what to do to improve their situation? To make suggestions? With or without options? Or is it just western society that does this? Or is it my family that have this pattern?

Anyway, I have been thinking of this lately. And I know that I perceive this as being controlled at times. It’s as if, when someone tells me a solution, whether worded as a suggestion or not, that I feel I am expected to follow that suggestion. It’s a “should” do!! Which might not be the case at all. Though I also sense at times, that the person definitely expects me to follow the suggestion.  I sense disapproval. But is this really the case or is it just my interpretation?

So there is that side of it.

 And the other side is….that I do it too.

You know, it’s a great opportunity for us to look at others behaviour or words, and then ask ourselves: How do I do that? Because if we notice it in others, you can guarantee that we do it too. And then we have a way to fix ourselves. Ah ha!! But maybe this is not fixing – words EH! Maybe it is developing, improving, growing? Take your pick about which word you use. 

And really, it is a gift. This is one way to grow our awareness of our patterns and behaviours and communications. And we do not have to try and fix ourselves. Purely by having the awareness, there will be opportunities to play it differently. It’s as if, an unconscious intention arises from the awareness. An intention to drop that pattern.

So I look forward to doing less making suggestions and more listening. I look forward to dropping that pattern. And the purpose? To live in truth. Awareness allows us to drop the conditioning of our earlier life and live from the truth of us.