Saturday, February 24, 2018
Anger! Anger! Anger! Anger! Anger!!
You don’t feel it, do you?
It wouldn’t be right to feel it, would it?
What would happen if you did feel it?
No, no, no, it’s just a little frustration!
Go away frustration. Now just stuff down. Suppress it. Depress it. And be vigilant for it popping up again. What an effort it is, being vigilant. What an effort it is, controlling the fear of the anger (oops, frustration!) coming again.
Or maybe it’s resentment. That’s okay. It can bubble away just out of sight. That can be controlled.
Or maybe it’s restlessness. That’s okay. Just annoying.
Or tenseness in the body. That’s okay. Take a pill to relax. Take another to make sure the depressed feelings stay down.
Really!! Honestly, life can be so much easier than this.
It takes effort to keep those feelings under control. It takes effort to depress those feelings.
And it’s all driven by fear. Fear of what might happen if anger is allowed. Fear of what is even deeper than the fear.
I remember once upon a time, when I didn’t feel any feelings – well none that I was afraid of. My body got more and more tense. Then my digestive system didn’t work well. I was irritable inside and out. Then I got “depressed”. I searched for help. Eventually I found the journey method and did the training. I learned to allow myself to feel. Not always pleasant, in the short term but definitely fantastic in the longer term. Because feelings dissolve. When they are welcomed, they are felt and then go. Amazing, eh. We get so scared that the feeling is going to hang around that we make it hang around by putting effort into not feeling it. Funny logic!!
And this is even without our minds getting involved. You know, those thoughts that try to analyse why the feeling is there. Oh, must be because of what that person said, or what they did. And then the thinking goes round in circles and keeps the feeling there.
So, when a feeling arises, notice it. And feel it in your body. Maybe be a bit curious about where it is in your body.