How strong
are your restrictive thoughts about money?
Does it affect any thoughts you have
about buying anything, about buying meals, about buying a coffee, about buying
a book, or only about the big things – having enough to pay the rent or the
rates or pay for car repairs. Do you stop yourself from buying small things for
yourself because of this?
Can you cope
with an irregular income or do you have a strong need to know what is coming
in. Do you budget to the last few cents?
All of this
is a human drive for survival – because money equals survival in our society
these days. It’s to do with self-preservation – making sure you have enough for
yourself. It’s a very basic drive, but people vary about how strong this drive
is for them, and how anxious they become. Some people spend a lot of time thinking
about money and worrying about it and complaining about it. There could be some
panic lurking. Others are more trusting of money’s arrival.
For me, my
self-preservation drive is being mightily challenged this year. And this is a
good thing - a chance to face the fear, allow the fear, feel the fear. A life
test. A opportunity for the fear to not limit my choices and not get in the way
of decisions.
I am in the
process of getting a house built on my piece of land and there have been many
costs appearing that have nothing to do with the house and everything to do
with council requirements. My internal process has been a roller coaster of
fear leading towards acceptance of this moment – this moment being that of not
knowing every cost. Having a general idea and knowing that extras seem to pop
up from nowhere to challenge me. Having a council person tell me about costs
that weren’t mentioned earlier. So that I face, again and again and again, the
fear of not having enough. Doing the sums, knowing I don’t know all the costs,
doing the sums again!!!
I was
brought up in a frugal environment which created some reluctance to spend. Or,
at least, created a voice on my shoulder, telling me I shouldn’t spend. And
during my married life, not much spending happened and all monies were
accounted for in detail. Since being on my own, I keep a more relaxed and
general eye on money. And it feels good. Until the challenge of new house
arrived to challenge me some more. Currently, it’s feeling ok. Not because I
know all the costs, but because……well, just because….no logic.
What would
it take for you to be more relaxed about money?
And the answer is not more
money!! You would find that if you have some frugality or scarcity beliefs
about money, that it actually wouldn’t matter how much you had - the same internal
stuff would still be there.
So it might be time to inquire into this.
